Sorry~

Will you listen to my story ?

It'll just be a minute

How can i explain ?

Whatever happened here

I never meant to hurt you

When i say I'm sorry

Will you believe me ?

Listen to my story

Say you won't leave me

When i say I'm sorry

Can you forgive me ?

When i say I'll always be there

Will you believe in me ?

All the words that i come up with

There's no excuse, no explanation

If I could undo what I did wrong

I'd give away all that I own

When I say I'm sorry

Will you believe me ?

When I say I'm sorry

Can you forgive me ?

If I told you I've been cleaning my soul

And I promise you I'll regain control

Will you open your door

And let me in ?

Take me for who i am

And not for who I've been ?

When I say I'm sorry

Will you believe me ?

Can you forgive me ?

When I say I'll always be there

Will you believe in me ?

When I say I'm sorry

I'm Sorry

I'm Sorry

I'm Sorry

I'm Sorry

I'm Sorry

Will you believe me ?

Can you forgive me ?

University : Part 1

Hey there people~ well, the title does say 'University : Part 1''. Most of you may be thinking this is a post about my first experience in university life. Sorry to disappoint you guys. This post is about my preparation for my uni life. The reason for Part 1 is simply because, intentionally, i wanted to make this post together with pictures. Buuuuut, the pictures are going to be delayed. So yea, i'll get to the pictures in Part 2.

Alrite, getting to the story. Just like every other form 6 leavers, i too am waiting for my UPU result. but, here's the catch. my result... ain't good enough for the course my parents want me to apply, Medicine. So, my dad made his plans to send me to Indonesia for my medicine degree. Now, i applied for Universitas Padjajaran. In order to get selected into that uni, i had to go for an entrance exam and an oral interview.

On 11th June, the agent organised classes to prepare all applicant for their entrance exam. there were about 53 of us, broken into two classes, Class A and Class B. without the need to say, Class B obviously was the better class. Not to mention the fact that i was in Class B as well. :p Anyways, first half-day was pretty boring. i was practically sitting all by myself. why ?? because i dont know anyone there. well, there was this one guy who knew me, but i wasn't really keen on sticking close to him. most of reader are now wondering why i mentioned ''half-day''. the reason, i made friends during lunch ! And not to mention this girl *ehem ehem* is pretty. don't think too much people. I'm not gona break me 20 year single streak just yet. maybe after i graduate. but that's a topic for another day~

So, from day 2 onwards, i had 2 friends to study together with. its pretty ironic that the 2 of them have opposite personalities. one is super calm, and the other is a worries too much~ anyways, the 3 of us amazingly did click very well and yea, we're kinda like besties now. hahahaha~ oh yea, i guess i didn't mention. classes were held from 11th-17th June from 8am-6pm. i know, Killer Classes. Names of my besties, Karen Low and Allison. (Allison. if you're reading this, please note i DID NOT make a spelling error for your name). despite the looooong hours of class, it was really fun. the lecturers were great and extremely sporting.

time for a little fussing. the exam had PHYSICS, which i dropped 2 years ago. which meant, i was totally blurr during physics class. another fuss, they're electron arrangement is a little weird. third fuss, calculator is NOT allowed. fourth fuss, periodic table not provided during exam. fifth fuss, no formula sheet or data booklet. these were some of the "great'' rules which made me soooo excited for the entrance exam.

entrance exam was on the 19th. which means one free day on 18th to rest. but considering the extra good rules set by the Indonesian exam board, i planned to study. Awesomely, Karen wanted to study as well. and we both ended up revising from 9am-5pm at McD, The Mall (sumwhr near PWTC).

19th arrived, exam day~ 100 objective questions, 2.5 hours, no calculator. i prayed extra hard to god. there's was another ''good news''. out of the 200 applicants for medicine, only 80 will be selected. wat a bummer ! well, everything ended on 19th and all was done. all that was left was to wait for the results.

on 25th June, i received a phone call from Karen saying she passed. for the first 2 minutes, i was happy for her. but aftr that, reality kicked and bit me in the ass. her exam number was waaaay later than mine. so, why the hell did she get the call while i did not. did i fail ?? now that was a living nightmare. i cudn't take it. i turned on my pc, logged into the exam system, key-ed in my exam number. waiting... waiting... and yes !! I PASSED AS WELL !! isnt that awesome news. i'm the top 80 out of 200. one hour later, the agent calls and says i passed. how ''efficient''.

well, that's all for now, this is by far my longest post. next up, GOTCHA CALL post !! XD

Work Experience

Well, as promised, here's the next post about my working experience at SMK Kepong. I was working there for about 3 months, and i had a really fun time. Especially thanks to my 4 makmur class for being the most sporting and most co-operative class !!

Hmm, STPM was over somewhr in December. and i needed a job while waiting for my result. so, there i sent one sms to Pn.Aiza, who's the school PK1, but alot like a mother to me at school. she has helped me HEAPS and i dont know how i can ever re-pay her. i told her i wanted a job at school, and ta-da~ i got accepted to teach a bunch of form 4 kids Sejarah and Moral AND i was given charge of the Debate team.

Debate and I go waay back together. haha.. i was the team captain, then the team coach, and this year, the teacher in charge. its practically IMPOSSIBLE to separate debate and me. u want proof, well, dis post was supposed to b about my class students. but somehow, debate got dragged in xD.. i guess its the bond me and debate have~ LOL

Getting the job offer was great. wat i considered as the bonus was 2 things.

1) i was working in the morning session. (peisha and srijesh said it was impossible to get the morning shift as the principal will not allow)

2) getting and air-conditioned room and access to the school library !!!

So, my 3 months in school made me see school life in the teacher's point of view. i understood why teacher's chase after each single period that belongs to them. finishing the syllabus is hard. as i student, i loved assembly b'coz dat means no 1st and 2nd period most of the time. as i teacher, i hated assembly for robbing me of those precious moments (i wudnt b complaining if assembly robbed me of 4 Cekap instead >.<)

The most fun i had in my working experience was definitely debate, and my favourite 4 Makmur. if i had not been given 4 makmur, my school working life would have been a total bore~ really wished that i could have had more time with them. ^_^

Anyways, on my last day, they all had a small farewell party for me. it was touching. more touching than that was their parting gift to me.. and the most touching of all, was, one of my students actually cried. made my heart break to see her cry so hard.

4 makmur, wish u all the best for your coming exams and SPM ! thank you for everything. my blessing is always with all of you :)

AND NOW, ITS PICTURE TIME~

reach the class door

''cut the ribbon'' (with my hand )

enter the class *notice confetti on floor*

message on board

whole class

girls only

whole class again

another whole class

whole class~

boys only~

~the girls who love to go out~

MY FAREWELL GIFT

Back From The Dead

Heyo my blog~ well, its been a looooong time..

anyways, i've been freaking lazy and busy lately, so, no time to blog. recently, i was reading another dead blog.. it made me want to revive my very own dead blog. therefore, i am officially raising it back from the dead. it is now in the process of living again. jus thought that i made the announcement before putting up any posts.

the next post is gona be about my working experience at my ex-school, SMK Kepong together with pictures (which was taken with my favourite class, 4 Makmur)

Stay tuned~

~Best Friend~

Thank you

I’m glad that you’re here

No matter the time

I can always smile

No matter how many years pass while we’re away from each other

Nothing will have changed

We’re Best Friends

I love you, I really love you

I’m sorry for waiting so long to say this

I was driven into a corner alone

When I hear your faint voice

I felt like I could make it

I can tell you anything

Even things I can’t tell my mom

You understand better than anyone

When I’m happy you’re just as happy for me

And you’re the one to scold me when I’m wrong

Thank you

I’m glad that you’re here

No matter the time

I can always smile

No matter how many years pass while we’re away from each other

Nothing will have changed

We’re Best Friends

I love you, I really love you

You quickly see through my pretenses

When I’m feeling down

You’re the first to send me caring emails

That have saved me so many times

You said I should go ahead and cry when I feel like crying

Because you’d be at my side

My greatest ally

I wonder if there’s anything I can do for someone like you?

When I figure it out I’ll race over to you, I promise

Thank you

I’m glad that you’re here

No matter the time

I can always smile

No matter how many years pass while we’re away from each other

Nothing will have changed

We’re Best Friends

I love you, I really love you

I’ll always be praying

I want you to be the happiest person in the world

Thank you

I’m glad that you’re here

No matter the time

I can always smile

No matter how many years pass while we’re away from each other

Nothing will have changed

We’re Best Friends

I love you, I really love you

My Lovely Sister, Carmen Lee

Hmm, how do i start this.. Debate of course. Another year, and again i helped out my school debate team, that is my juniors for the district level debate competition. The difference was, this was my final year in SMK Kepong, and, we managed to win state champions. Now, this post is not actually for debate, but debate is how it all started.

My teacher found a promising young girl who had a talent for public speaking and thought that she would make a good addition for the debate team next year. And therefore, Carmen Lee came to watch the debate quarter finals together with me and the rest of the team. At first look, i thought she was a quiet hard to approach girl. But sooner, i realised that she was quite the opposite. The debate quarter finals marked our first meeting and exchange of numbers.

Carmen's class was right below mine. Enthusiastic to learn more about debate, she came upstairs to see me almost everyday asking questions. Being the small cute little girl she is, i took good care of her and before i knew it she said to me, "you're like an elder brother to me" when i was shielding her head during the rain. That was when the both of us became really close like brothers and sisters.

Her frequent visits the me never stopped. Only this time, it was just for empty talk. She soon became very friendly to my ring of friends as she regularly comes in my class and chats with them as well. The problem was, my friends and class teacher thought she was my girlfriend, even till this very second.

Carmen is a really nice girl. Once, she baked a cake in KH class and came up to my class to let me taste it. No words could describe the look on her face when she asked, "how does it taste like ?". It was filled with hope that the cake tasted good. It did taste good, except that it was just a little burnt. A couple of weeks later, she came to me bringing me some homemade muffins. Now those were perfectly baked and tasted really good~

Despite the fact that she constantly 'bullies' and scolds me, i know she was just kidding. She occasionally would say, "hey, dont fell bad ah i bully you and scold you.. i play play oni". She's like a little child to me. Everytime she has a problem, she would call me and i would be there for her. We often spent long hours on the phone, with me calling her. Something i don't mind and look forward to. She's my little sister after all.

Well, there are too many things to say about her and us, but, so far this is how much my memory permits me. She is now waiting tensely for her PMR result which will be out on 23rd December. Carmen, if you are reading this, I'M DEFINITELY GONNA WIN THE BET !!!!! I wish her all the best, and hope your have a wonderful christmas in Taiwan~

~My Sweet Sister Carmen ^_^~

Sad Story

To those who are married, .. Not married .. and soon to be married, I hope you will be touched with this story... MARRIAGE When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning.. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions.. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage! If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.